Getting Caught with the Feels
I don't cry often, but my eyes water a lot. I mean, I guess that is a kind of quiet crying. All it takes is a well-done, emotionally connecting TV show, and I'm all set to reach for the Kleenex. I don't usually make any audible sounds, but it is sometimes hard to talk. I wrote something yesterday that hit me right in the feels while I was writing it, and then every time I re-read it. I was sitting at my desk today at work, praying that the phone wouldn't ring during one emotional stretch.
I get emotional when I miss people, and I am absolutely horrible at saying goodbye. Wonder Woman and I are pretty affectionate. During my recent bout with COVID, she had to keep her distance, and the lack of touch started to get to me. I was so glad when she tested positive. No, that's not true. I was not glad she got COVID too, but I did appreciate the breaking of the isolation. She had to stay at home today (working remotely) while I went to the office. I was just like a lovesick teenager, texting her, complaining of feeling sad and feeling sorry for myself.
For the most part, I'm pretty stoic around people. After being outspoken most of my life, I've become much quieter in the past few years. I have never been able to do small talk for the sake of small talk, so when I have to interact with people at work, I steer the conversations towards what I can do to help them with their tech woes, and then I get to work. I let them know when I'm done, solicit any questions, and then I move on. The guy who used to do my job loved to talk, and he loved to fuss at people for having computer issues that he had to fix. He was not Mr. Popularity.
I do have a habit of cursing at inanimate objects. I will call a recalcitrant computer an SOB in a heartbeat. Ditto for dropped screws, running toilets, full trash cans, and cars with empty gas tanks. I spent two decades around school children where I was unable to use my entire vocabulary in frustrating circumstances, and I feel like the world owes me a few chances to get frustration off my chest verbally.
My goal is to speak the loudest through the written word these days. I love blogging for a bunch of reasons, but the primary one is the way it forces me to structure my thinking around my head noise in a more orderly and considered way. I have to organize my thoughts and consider my language. I have to think about how what I wrote will be understood. To a certain extent, I even have to follow some rules. It's good for me. It makes me happy.
Enjoyed it? Please upvote 👇