I'm Sorry
I'm not one of those people who apologizes for everything even it isn't my fault, although if you tell me you feel bad, I may answer with "I'm sorry", meaning that I feel sorrow over your discomfort, not that I take the blame for it. On the other hand, if I do something on purpose or inadvertently to make you feel bad, the chances of me apologizing are pretty high. I don't look at it as a sign of weakness to own up to a mistake but rather as a sign of maturity. I'm quick to let things go and most of the time I am uninterested in being right if being right means continuing strife in a relationship or workplace. It just isn't ordinarily worth it.
There are a few things I won't apologize for. Don't break out the racism, misogyny, homophobia or the othering of the less fortunate or I will get obnoxiously loud. On most other things I can be live and let live. I'm not going to get upset over anything sports ball related and I'm cool with your faith being important to you even if I am a non-believer. You're fine to prefer Microsoft or Linux over Apple products and I generally don't care what you spend your money on.
My temper can be quicker than I like sometimes and my voice can be louder than I intend for it to be. It's such a stereotypical male tactic and one of the things I like least about myself. I've worked hard to not be that way but I think it will be an ongoing struggle until I die. I almost never feel good after it happens even when something egregious is the cause. I hate getting trapped into the mind game where I start going "I wish I'd said X when he said Y." Gross. I'm much more happy to let the past be the past and to move on.
Everyone has bad days and we all fall short sometimes. I learned a long time ago that we don't forgive people for their sake. We forgive people to make ourselves feel better. Holding on to resentment is a sure fire way to trigger all kinds of negative outcomes. In fact, in the recovering community, holding on to resentments is often cited as the number one cause of relapse into addiction. Believe me, no amount of righteous anger is worth it to me to ever live that life again.
Of the many, many weird things about the 45th president of the United States is his aversion to apologizing. I'm of the belief that we all screw up from time to time and being mature adults, we own up to that and move on. There are even more nuanced reasons for apologizing, which I've touched on but just think for a moment on the hubris of a man who is so afraid of appearing weak that he can't admit to making a mistake. He has even gone so far as to say that he doesn't ask God for forgiveness, because that would amount to admission of wrongdoing. I guess in his mind he's right up there with Jesus on the old perfection scale.
At the end of my days, I want to be remembered as a kind person who stood for a few things that mattered and not as some stalwart expert on the way things should be. If I can have just a little bit of peace maker in my make up, I'll be happy.
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