My Life in Cars
Age: 61
Number of Years driving: 45
Approximate number of cars owned: 13
New Cars purchased: 1
In a twist of fate so cruel it was almost unbelievable, the universe broke my beloved 2005 Camry last Saturday, the same day I wrote about a bad luck streak that included a new dishwasher, an expensive HVAC repair and $9,000 in stolen copper pipes and plumbing bills. Wonder Woman ran over a nail around mid-day and took my car to run an errand. She promptly called me to announce that the check engine light, which has been permanently on for months, was now blinking and the car wouldn't go faster than 45mph and could barely climb the smallest hill. We both knew it was the end.
The next day we did a little research and headed for CarMax for what is supposed to be the most painless car purchasing experience in America. No haggling. No talking to managers. No salesman disappearing into the back to talk to finance. All of that was true, but it still took four hours. We live in an age of miracles and wonders and it still takes a chunk out of your life to buy a 21st century necessity. (Side note: They gave me a whopping $300 for the dying Toyota.)
I am not a car guy. I've never changed my own oil, or god forbid, spark plugs. I'm not real big on going to the car wash. The only new car I've ever owned, a 1986 Nissan Sentra hatchback did not have a radio, air conditioning or floor mats. I loaned it to my ex-wife shortly after buying it so she could drive from North Carolina to Florida to see her grandparents. She had never driven a five-speed, didn't understand what fifth gear was for and consequently, never shifted into it for 1500 miles of interstate driving. It never really ran right after that.
When we were married, she'd been involved in an accident that totaled the first car I'd ever purchased, a Chevy Chevette. We were both 19. She stayed at home with our son and I worked in construction making about $5 an hour. The car disappeared from our lives, but the payments didn't. I had months to go on a loan for a car I no longer owned. My grandmother rescued us by buying a car from a friend of hers for us, deferring my payments until I got the Chevette paid off.
I've only had to deal with the whole go to the car lot for half a day experience a few times. Most of my vehicles have come from relatives and friends or co-workers. The Toyota that just died came from my Mom, 15 years ago. My siblings and I all know what a value her used cars can be. She religiously gets the oil changed and the car serviced. She keeps them immaculate. I was really lucky to get it from her, way back during Obama's first term in office. Between the two of us, we managed to accumulate well over 200,000 miles on the car.
When we first got married, Wonder Woman and I swapped cars. She drove the Camry. I drove her Honda Civic hybrid, into the ground. It gave us 200,000 miles too.
I had a couple of Saturns and really liked them. I was sad when the company folded. I got another Chevette for $500 and drove it until it caught fire on Interstate 95. I pulled into a rest stop. Put out the fire. Used a dime to back out the license plate screws. Called my uncle for a ride home. Never looked back. I bought a mini-van for $1,800 and drove it, courageously and foolishly, to take my family on vacation six hours away. It broke down on the way. Of course it did. I've had cars so decrepit I had to buy black market inspection stickers — for years. I spent insurance money from accidents on other stuff and never got the car fixed. In my younger days, I was kind of impervious to shame.
Those days are over though. Wonder Woman has reformed me, mostly. Our new home has a garage and we actually use it to house our cars. I am scared to think of what will happen if I don't take care of the nice new used one she and I just bought. I was assigned to read the owner's manual yesterday, my first full day of ownership. I accomplished the task. Part of me hopes that this will be the last car I ever buy, although outliving it would be OK too.
Enjoyed it? Please upvote 👇