When You Don't Have a Stop Button
Satiety \suh-TYE-uh-tee\ noun. 1 : the quality or state of being fed or gratified to or beyond capacity : surfeit, fullness.
The first time I went to rehab in 1987, I was lucky to have selected a place that had some world-class counselors with years of experience working with addicted people in a clinical setting. They were all in recovery themselves, and between the three of them, they had decades of clean time. They made a good living, I'm sure, but they were loving and caring people with whom I stayed in touch long after I finished the program. I was only 22 at the time, but I definitely needed to be there. I didn't drink for nearly eight years after treatment. A great deal of what I learned there was helpful to me when I finally entered long-term sobriety in 2008.
One characteristic that addicted people share is the inability to be sated. We have a hard time distinguishing when enough is enough. This applies to alcohol and drug use for sure, but it extends into most areas of our lives. When I enjoy something, my nature is to get as much of it as I can. I got into endurance sports early in recovery, which was great for losing weight, occupying my time, and making me healthy, but not so good for the marriage I was in. I rode my bicycle over 25,000 miles during the first three years of my sobriety.
I used to have a habit of finding an author and then wanting to buy and read every book they had written. I did that with Robert A. Heinlein (32 novels, 16 collections of short stories) and the police procedurals of Ed McBain (55 novels). I could not afford to do the same thing with music until Napster came along, but suffice it to say, during those pirate years, I completed many, many complete discographies (Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash).
In 2001, the woman I was married to bought a cockatiel. I liked her bird and decided I would like to have one. Within a year, I had completed two aviaries at my house and had taken in over 30 parrots as part of various rescue groups.
As I've gotten older, I've learned to curb this behavior somewhat, although I have relapses. I've stayed away from a few things that are notorious for addicting people. I don't play the lottery or buy scratch-off tickets. Although I live near some of the finest golf courses in the South, I have resisted learning or playing the game. I stay away from trying to collect things these days. I got into baseball cards as an adult in the 90s and ended up with close to 100,000 of them. When people started buying vinyl records again, I knew that was something I needed to stay far, far away from.
The biggest issue for me these days is food. My weight has fluctuated throughout my life. I've always been able to do the guy thing and "get in shape," but in 2020, I had a double knee replacement, which curbed my ability to be as physical as I had been in the past. Since then, I've continued to eat like an endurance athlete without putting in the hours on the trails and roads to work off the calories—with predictable results. My hard-earned wisdom in learning to identify and avoid occasions for excess has yet to kick in when it comes to pushing away from the table.
I suppose my blogging habit could also fall into the overdoing-it category. I do love to write and interact with folks online. I have my time structured to publish at least three posts a day. I've been doing it for months. So far, it's not causing me any issues. I'm not holding up liquor stores to get the money to register more domain names or anything. If I get tired, I'll slow down. Until then, keep coming back for more!
Enjoyed it? Please upvote 👇