Wonder Woman vs. Me - She Remains Undefeated
Privilege comes and privilege goes. I've had stretches in my life where I lived frugally out of necessity, not because I had a hidden virtue. Later in life, with debts paid off, we managed to save some dough for retirement. Well, retirement arrived, and although we don't have "buy your own helicopter" money, we don't have to live with the crappy refrigerator that came with the house we just bought either. After doing my due diligence (i.e., asking ChatGPT what I should buy), we bought a lovely French door, counter-depth, freezer-on-the-bottom GE fridge from a locally owned business (virtue signal warning).
I've been dreaming of this day for two reasons: new fridge (duh) and the realization of a life-long dream. I have a garage now and I have a functioning refrigerator that I can put in it. There are few men who wouldn't kill to be in my position.
I don't drink beer (since December 28, 2008) so it's not there to serve as a plug-in brew cooler. To me, it's just a luxury, kind of like a Rolex, but functional and not so flex-y. Never again will I lose a special treat in the depths of an overcrowded refrigeration device. I love cold cans of sparkling water, even the store brands. Now I can pack multiple cases of them into my garage fridge and stand there with the door open whenever I want, admiring the abundance.
There's only one problem. Wonder Woman has the ultimate veto power over my life. I mean, she is smarter than me (way). She's also practical and sees things in an annoyingly realistic way vs. my charming rose-colored glasses method. She uses criteria like "is there room for a fridge in the garage?" and "we live in the South, AKA the sweltering armpit of Satan." Our garage makes you want to climb into a sauna to cool off. Supposedly, this affects how well a refrigerator will work out there.
Long story short: my dreams are crushed. I'm not getting it. When they deliver our new one, the current refrigerator will be taken away and I will never, ever get to see it again (sob).
Because she loves me and gets genuinely distressed at my sadness, Wonder Woman researched beverage fridges and picked out a sleek, glass door model with LED lights and a 106 can capacity. She had it delivered overnight and went with me to the supermarket to buy four cases of sparkling water to stock it with. It's purring away in the kitchen right now.
I may lose every single argument we ever have, but I won the wife lottery.
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